Testfest #1

Today, I made an effort to get out and do something with my life.  It just turns out that I was testing different sorts of drugs.

There’s all sorts of things out there that you can buy at a local grocery store or walmart that can get you high. Most, however, are only for crazy people with no sense of reality. Some I heard and won’t try are drinking a bottle of listerine (40% alcohol, but also contains menthol and some other crazy stuff that gets you pretty smash faced too), sniffing glade (some guy went into a coma and lost his memory), and DMX (DXM?) containing pharmaceuticals.

Today I bought 4 things to try. Sudafed, Whipped Cream, Green Tea, and 1.5 kilos of poppy seeds. Guess which one I wanted to try the most?

So I thought I’d start of easy: Whipping Cream. HIgh on (off?) whipped cream (whipping cream?) you say? Well, it’s pressurized with NO2, nitrous dioxide, laughing gas. It was very VERY enjoyable. Unfortunately, you can only get about one good hit out of a bottle. Although extremely enjoyable, it only lasts about a minute before you go for another hit and end up with a mouthful of whipping cream. Think drunk + high, but without the gain in coordination that comes from getting high while drunk. But the seond hit wasn’t so bad, I just ended up laughing and eating whipping cream.

Second, I tried smoking green tea. It supposed to give you a really nice, relaxing euphoric high. Unfortunately, you need to smoke about a bag or two to actually get high. And without a filter, it was a really really rough smoke. I couldn’t even finish 1/4 bag. All I feel (2 hours later mind you) is a little dizzy and numb, sort of like after a few shots of alcohol. Not sure if it’s Carbon Monoxide or not, as I’m not a smoker. I used one bag out of around 30, so I plan on continuing this experiment by brewing triple strength, at least, green tea, as well as eating a teabag or two. Anything for a cheap-ass high, right?

Third, brewing right now, is some poppy seed tea. The theory behind this is that residue from the seed pod (containing opium) is left of the seeds when harvested. Companies wash it off, but you know commercial businesses and health and safety standards – they’re minimal. Some residue is still left over, so about a pound in 2 litres of water will give you enough for one person. Consider it’s $3 a kilo (maybe pound) it’s still a really good deal for an opium high. Stay tuned.

Fourth is 5-10 pills of sudafed. This is for a day I feel really brave or really stupid. Apparently it causes mild hallucinations, but may also bring me near-hospitalization.